Tonight I was reminded of the impact of the importance of connections in our lives. You know when something is real, loaded with heart and soul and is everlasting and it's just so sad that pain and suffering and loss and missed connections is what brought me to this place. I have visited this place before and shed tears but tonight was the first time in a very long time that I heard that song...performed so eloquently...so purely by not two but three...it was perfect, poignant and purposeful. I remember hearing that song in the same format so very long ago when all of our hearts were raw and exposed and I cried tonight...as I did that afternoon in the same month of June but many light years prior. I felt full circle, I felt older, I felt comprehensibly wiser but my heart was still hurting.
Many things that were said in rememberance were full of positive and tenacious and faithful caring and struggle and strife over luxury by a caring soul that truly was generous. And how everything that has happened thus far has happened for a reason and how everyone involved were supposed to be right where they had been at that very time. Call it destiny, call it responsibility or call it whatever you like, but the simple fact and truth of the matter is that pieces in the puzzle of life fall into place and fit perfectly with a little tug and a wiggle and these parts and pieces are what shape us throughout the road of our lives. What may not seem clear or attainable at the time can bring a realization after the fact that it was done the way it was supposed to happen....all along.
I spent a long time contemplating the importance of what was said specifically by a good friend, a friend that had just lost his mother and how he kept coming back to the realization that it's too late now to hear the stories, ask the questions and get the answers. We never really ever learn during our lives that asking the seemingly unimportant questions when we think of them makes those questions and the answers to them very important. We all do it. We all put it off until another day. We all regret this throughout our lives. I am as guilty as the next person because I have not asked those questions, prodded for those answers and frankly, I'm scared to do; scared that it will take my feelings, thoughts and imaginative past into another arena that I'm not sure that I am ready to take on. I know that I too will be sorry one day.
I felt that exact way the last day that I spent with Di and inside my heart I knew the last time that I listened to her voice, heard her sing to me, held her hand tightly, hugged her and kissed her sweet cheek would be really truly be the last time that I would have the opportunity to "hear" her ever again. I am still so sorry that I did not take more time out of my life to spend with Di.