Wishes Floating Above

Birthday Wishes Sent To Heaven

Today marks another birthday for Di
Wish we had Di here to celebrate, to chat, to laugh, to walk briskly in the cool autumn air
But, we do not
So I will be sending messages to her through my memories 
The day is supposed to be beautiful and I will glance into the sky and look into the clouds for a glimpse of what may be something I can take away and with me for the moment
I'm going to leave this post on this note... 

Faith consists in believing when it is beyond the power of reason to believe



Remembrances and Writing and JUST Breathe

Today I have been working on my Thesis and was writing my Dedication(s) and included Di (of course) and remembered so many things and thoughts and silly things and one thing in particular I remember from that FIRST DAY that I met her in Abnormal Psych ..... I know! .... of all places was when I asked her if she was struggling with the course and she tilted her head and said

"Strugglin' .... ME?  Never, I'm relaxing and keeping the stress to a minimum, can't you see my meditation cloud over my head?"  THAT became our little mantra for THAT course.....OMG and right now while I'm knee deep in research and review and contemplation and that wanna-throw-my-laptop-and-anything-nearby I have to laugh and think back to when Di had that "power" to engage me and MOTIVATE ME to keep keeping on and do it with such panache.

Oh how I miss that! 
So, I'm not going to forget to breathe through this entire process and I'm gonna keep looking up and pointing to that little teeny itty bitty meditation cloud that sits right above my head (keeping the stress to a minimum) just like Di told me she was doing that very first day I met her in that redhead fashion of hers that she did SO VERY WELL.

Love you much Di and still miss you much more than ever,


Sending Prayers

Through all of my blog writing and reading there are some things that catch your attention and the story of Joey & Rory caught my attention with the blog that Rory has been writing over the years as a document of their lives.

Today I am sending prayers to Joey & Rory and their sweet Indiana because Joey is in the battle of her life.
Please visit Rory's blog and send your prayers to this family...

This is a song that was done three years ago by Joey & Rory and it touched my heart.....may Joey be granted peace knowing that her legacy will live on in the hearts of so very many....

"When I'm Gone" - JOEY+RORY music video (from their album His & Hers) from Hickory Films on Vimeo.

Sending Peace,
Sending Love,
Sending Kindness,

Remember that Memories last Forever ♥


So Missed and So VERY Loved

Today is the day that we lost Di November 15, 2009.

I may not be posting as frequently as I did in the past with live getting in the way but with excuses aside, Di is never far from my thoughts.

I've found that is "ok" to move along the winding road alone but it takes bravery and determination and I have to admit that at times I feel lost and alone and weary.
Bravery is a BIG word, it takes a lot to say that word and even more to LIVE that word everyday.
Di was brave, she lived bravely, she loved bravely, she worshiped bravely and she echoed bravery to all that surrounded her.  Di planted her roots firmly and she lived with convictions even along her tough road in the fight of her life against the cancer that invaded her body.

Over the years since we lost Di things have changed and there are so many more people that I have recognized that are fighting the fight of their life, just as Di did.  Such an insidious disease that takes our people, our kin, our loves and literally our breath away.

If I could just have 'one more' moment with Di...that has been my feelings since we lost her.  I found this songwriter who wrote from the passions of his heart and soul about 'One More' when he himself was diagnosed with cancer and his songwriting abilities were poised to not just write a song but instead to write the song he was living in the moment.  No made up stories, no false pretenses, just pure, raw emotion while in the fight for his life.  Passion is what fuels each and every one of our lives and when there is a bump in the road, take the lead and let your voice be heard such as he did.

Tim Johnson "One More" from Hickory Films on Vimeo.
Prayers today for Tim Johnson's family

I'd like just one more, please....

Missing you Di,


Saturday Memories

I’d give anything to hear your laugh again and to sip a cup of strong coffee with you
I despise fighting this world without you and I despise that you are not here to make things better for me
Quite selfish of me, I know but none of us deserved this outcome
The outcome of without you is not an outcome at all but rather a journey I have to continue on without my pal...

I remember when we took the infamous printing class and spent more time in idle chatter than actually doing type-press but we both loved it and the outcome was in a word...FAB 
We spent a lot of evenings in the studio working away until late in the night and for awhile I felt like I never wanted to see another type letter or have to put away another type letter....but alas you were always so positive, so confident, so overwhelmingly Di and you kept us pushing along even when the press did not want to work.  

When the ideas flowed, the coffee flowed and the time just disappeared.  I had a dream the other night that we were in the studio working and you were looking radiant and laughter filled the little cracks and crevices of the art room and it engulfed me in a huge hug.....it was FAB and I loved every moment of the dream moment and I was sad when I awoke and it was Friday, your birthday.....was that one of those nondescript signs you sent me? 

BTW I'm still waiting for you to pinch me really hard ..... what you told me you would do one day from heaven

Enjoying the Joy
Tooling Through the Past,


...Birthday GIRL Di

TODAY is Di's Birthday.....no I have not forgotten and never will.
Posts have been almost non existent since last year.....funny how life gets in the way while you're trying to do good work.
I've been wearing my bracelet all week and thinking about the last time that I read that poem aloud just for Di.  Weighs heavy on my soul and in my heart and between the broken heartstrings.

I pondered about this posting for weeks trying to think of photos where I have them, which ones they are and if I had a particular photo.  Frustration set in when I realized that I really do not have as many pics of Di and I thought I did....

So, here is a favorite pic....one with that fabulous smile.

Happy birthday My Girl...My Di
Still miss you after all these years



Birthday Girl

This time of the year is difficult.  
The leaves are changing colors and falling swiftly from their branch counterparts.
The air has a deep chill of cold that is going to take some getting used to.
The sun is up later and tucks in for a nightly slumber much earlier.

And, this time of year reminds me of today and those fateful days following this day that Di was with us and then she was gone. Too quick, too short, too little time. 

I wish I could hang the stars up in the evening and sit under them with a hot cup of coffee and a sparkling redhead by my side giggling away.  

I can say I wish, I wish, I wish but it will do me no favors.  
I only hope that I never forget the times that I had with Di and how much I cherished them at the time and how much more I cherish them today. 

I constantly kick myself being a photographer and having so few pictures of Di.  I wish I could have the opportunity to take photos of Di again.....

So, today is the Di-girl's birthday and I will blow a kiss to the skies in the early morning and say a little prayer for my girl.....

And Remembrance....


So Tired and So Sad

Over the past few weeks things have been a bit daunting and with the rigors of the day and constant barrage of the nation news things could not look any bleaker so I have to say that I join Karen in saying I am tired too and sad and spending time in contemplation.
I am ALSO affected in my little corner of the world.

With the events of the past week, one sticks firmly in the grasp of my mind....
that quote by Robin Williams:

"No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world"  

With the events of the past week, I truly believe that the "ideas" that Robin Williams presented to the world truly did and will have an impact on changing the world if albeit a small percentage. 

We do not as outsiders know the reasons or the hows or whys of the situation and we never will but the one thing that I find troubling is the lack of respect and the lack of dignity that has unfolded in the media.

What do we need on this earth to grow and move past the issues, concerns, grief and sorrows?

Thyme - A TRUE healer in the plant world.....ironic
that TIME is also what helps the healing process....

We all need room to grow and we all need people (even though some of us think we can 'go it alone') and we need the caring and tenderness of the world to wrap it's arms around us and tell us it is going to be okay.
We need time to process the last few devastating weeks in our world and we all need to say a little prayer for those that are suffering because we can only imagine their pain and wish that they did not have to walk in their own shoes right now.
It is going to be okay...
It will be okay...
Many hugs today and tomorrow...


Never Forget

I was waiting for the
Longest time, she said.
I thought you forgot, she said.

It is hard to forget, I said
When there is
Such an empty space

When you are gone….

A good cup of coffee and a good friend...I will never forget my first cup of coffee with Di


PaPa Godspeed ...

In this crazy world that we live in there are so many times that time takes away and fills the spaces that should be reserved for those that we love.  We get busy with life and deadlines and appointments and the full plate of being an adult and lose focus.  And sometimes during the small moments we find in the out spaces of a day we reflect and remember those special times and realize that they WERE significant pieces of our lives.
I met a man several years ago that had a twinkle in his eye and a smile as big as the state of Texas and as he shook my hand with a strong grip he said that I was a "tall drink of water and a pretty one at that" and then he proceeded to hug me unconditionally.  This man was PaPa and I will never forget his stature and his presence and his kindness and his genuine soul that day that he welcomed me into "the family".

Over the years there were several phone conversations and a few times that I was able to see him and be entertained by his words and his stories.  I will never forget the bologna and mayo sandwich story at the BBQ restaurant, the fire ants at The Ranch, his prized bulls, reciting the ABC's backwards saying "I learned the alphabet backwards before I ever learned it forwards", his story about the 'hoosey goosey mountains',  the way that he would say "well, that's good" with such inflection, the selective hearing skills when the Dallas Cowboys were on tv, all the pets that the family had over the years since they once owned a pet store; namely a monkey that lived with the family and the wholesome and genuine concern that he had for everyone...all the time.  I cannot remember a time that I talked with him that he did not ask about how someone was doing.  It was just his nature, just PaPa...

PaPa was a true Texas gentleman with riches far more than gold or any monetary value.  He had a strong conscience and knew what was important in life....family and laughter and remembrance of times past.

I will hold those memories in my heart, in my thoughts and in my soul forever.  

"PaPa" Elmo 1920-2014

Today was the send off for PaPa....a fitting day; National Armed Services Day, a fitting tribute for a great man that has a legacy that will live on and on in the hearts and minds and souls of all that he touched.
Godspeed PaPa...you and the family have been in my thoughts all day.  I wish I could have been there.

We all loved you so very much...


Another Mother's Day....

Without Di....
We sure miss that smile and those hugs she gave.....

Pain of her loss still resonates....


Happy Birthday Chloe.....

Another birthday another year gone so quickly....
I hope that today brings you good cheer, good friends and good memories!

Memories and Hugs to you....


Listening Well.....Story People

Di LOVED Story People sayings....she introduced me to their little company years ago when it was just a little company with lots of words and colors and thoughts that were written by the heart for the heart.

This writing from Story People is exactly what I needed today.....it exemplifies Di

She had the gift of stopping time & listening well so that it was easy to hear who we could become & that was the future she held safe for each of us in her great heart & you may ask, what now? & I hope you understand when we speak softly among ourselves & do not answer just yet for our future is no longer the same without her.

I still find myself speaking softly to myself when I realize and know that I was so lucky to have lost such a good friend.....

Wants & Needs Today,



Another Birthday....Emily

Em, I wish you a wonderful birthday today with thoughts and reflection and smiles and love....

Love is the magic that we hold in our hearts,
Time is only the vehicle of passage
Between yesterday, today and the future
Memories hold steadfast like a magnet to our hearts forever

Much love and wishes on YOUR day today,


Merry Christmas To All and To All A Good Night

Here is to Christmas wishes, memories, remembrance and love today and always.

I received a wonderful gift today that reminds me of Di always.....it's from StoryPeople

I carry you 
with me into the world,
into the smell of the rain
and the words that dance 
between people
and for me it will 
always be this way, 
walking in the light
being alive together.

Memories of the Heart at Christmas time

I will never forget and will always remember and revel in the moments I had with Di over the years.
She is missed today especially on a day of celebration.



Give Thanks Today

We are giving thanks today for the love and friendship we have in our lives....

Please carry a thankful heart not only today but every day.



Ben - The Day To Celebrate YOUR Birthday

Happy Birthday wishes to YOU today!
I will always remember the love in your mom's eyes in this picture...

Good wishes,
Love and Hugs,


Nothing Can Replace The Absence...

Four years ago today the world lost a very special woman, wife, mother, sister, aunt and friend...

Miss You, Di
The days go by so quickly but at least we have the memories.

I never want to forget that smile, ever...

“There is nothing that can replace the absence of someone dear to us, and one should not even attempt to do so. One must simply hold out and endure it. At first that sounds very hard, but at the same time it is also a great comfort. For to the extent the emptiness truly remains unfilled one remains connected to the other person through it. It is wrong to say that God fills the emptiness. God in no way fills it but much more leaves it precisely unfilled and thus helps us preserve -- even in pain -- the authentic relationship. Further more, the more beautiful and full the remembrances, the more difficult the separation. But gratitude transforms the torment of memory into silent joy. One bears what was lovely in the past not as a thorn but as a precious gift deep within, a hidden treasure of which one can always be certain.”
~ D. Bonhoeffer

The total number of days between Sunday, November 15th, 2009 and Friday, November 15th, 2013 is 1,461 days....The total time span from 2009-11-15 to 2013-11-15 is 35,064 hours....equivalent to 2,103,840 minutes.   You can also convert 1,461 days to 126,230,400 seconds...



The Birthday Girl Sending Wishes To The Heavens...

Born on a Tuesday, October 16, 1962
Today would have been Di's 51st birthday and I am sure that she would have been dancing and laughing to no end.  She would have said things like "that's groovy" and "what a hoot" with her bright red hair rumbling around as she tossed her laughter throughout the room.

I so miss HER and I so WISH that things would have turned out differently....we always talked about being the old ladies together...hanging out drinking coffee on the porch and talking about the good old days.

Kind Thoughts,
Memories and Tears...


Remembering 9-11

Another year; cannot believe that this is the 12 year anniversary.
Such a sad day...
So many lost...
So many left behind...
Time heals the wound but never heals the loss...

We will never forget and will always remember.

Peace today and always,


Another Angel For Heaven

Another angel joined Di in heaven and we are so sad again. 
Linda "kay kay" was an important part of our family and she is missed so much.
A mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend...
She will forever be in our memories...

Forever in our memory...


Making A Life Worth Living In The Times We Live In Today

Evermore I come back to the goodness of life and love and trials and tribulations in my reading and my writing as I continue on my journey.  This is a great article about the importance of making connections and the understanding that in one way or another we are all connected and we all hold great meaning in our own little worlds to one another.

Dennis Rivers is the author of this article that showcases the observations of spiritual comrades and the different "kinds" of spiritual friendships.

“Companions in the Storm (http://ecobodhi.org/guide/companions/) by Dennis Rivers is republished here under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License. For more information about Creative Commons licenses, please visit www.CreativeCommons.org.”


Kindred Spirits and Connections

It’s really hard to find complex conversations today according to Jen Lee and Indie Kindred, the project that she is currently working on with several other artists bridges the gap.  It is so true, these days everything is fit into a snippet or a poster or a few words; missing details and important fixtures and pieces.
Life is difficult and sometimes hard to navigate and if all of us had kindred souls to work with, talk with, write with and understand our purpose and our story we could all feel and see and reach our full potential as creators.

I constantly wish peace and love and hugs and good thoughts but is that really enough? Are they just words unconsciously typed or is there true meaning in the words. I know that they are REAL words and I know that I type them with love and regard and every time I type those words, I really do hope that they mean something to another who may read them....

The way our souls are trying to integrate with one another in such a difficult world is challenging and rewarding in the same breath.  I look forward to seeing the finished documentary that Jen Lee is working on. 

Here is a quick link to the trailer of Indie Kindred:

Indie Kindred Trailer from Jen Lee on Vimeo.

Kindred Spirits...


An Important Breakthrough In Cancer Research - Gene Mapping

For so many years I have missed that Di "smile" and I just know that she is beaming from this recent news. Something that we know that she would be so very proud of, the research, the testing, the availability and the progress.

Di participated in a study for the breast cancer gene for her family, her children and the future children in her family.

So proud of Di's mom and sister for this interview...
Di's legacy IS an important framework for the future...

And Tugged heartstrings forever....


Happy Mother's Day

Today we celebrate Mother's Day and highlight the importance of these women in our lives. 
Di was a great mother, a great friend and a great woman....

I just miss her every day and today with the reminder of Mother's Day, it brings my thoughts back to the memories, the love, the kindness and then the overwhelming loss......

Happy Mother's Day to all the mother's today! 

Peace, Love and Hugs,


Chloe ... Another Birthday!

happy birthday to Chloe ... you are so very loved and your mom was always so proud of you!
There is a star above watching over you that is twinkling brightly...

Birthday Wishes...


I Am Enough

I always struggle with myself, my thoughts, my purpose and my overall well being and I always knew when Di was with us that I could count on a quick pick-me-up whenever I needed it by picking up the phone and dialing that familiar number and by just hearing her voice my mood was transformed.  Hearing the smile in her voice, the love and caring that emulated from her soul was always exactly what I needed. Every time.

Over the last few years I have spent countless hours contemplating how to replace, find and secure the lost feelings I had through the connections with Di. 
There really is no way, though. 
I must move through with the memories of the warm hugs, the emulating laughter and the knowing that Di would want only the best for me, always. 
I have to keep telling myself that I am enough and that I can attain greatness through hard work and sustainability. 

Peace, love and hugs,


RAK Week Feb 11-17

This past week was Random Acts of Kindness Week (RAC Week) and over on their site  Random Acts of Kindness they showcased many people and many ideas all about kindness.

One particular individual, Hannah Brencher's idea was one resonated within me and she was also the 2013 Extreme Kindness Winner. 
Here is her video:

We all have times, days, weeks, months and years when things do not seem "right" and all seem a bit off center.  What Hannah has done to catapult people is to write an actual letter...no, not an email but something tangible that you can actually hold in your hand, something, a piece of paper that forces you to unfold it and smooth the creases of the paper and soak up all the goodness that is truly what a love letter means from one person to a complete stranger. 



Happy Heart Day

Another holiday that I loved to get Di cards for...
The meaning behind this day for me is gratitude and thankfulness and the love of those that you truly care about.   That is what is important; cherish those that love you...

One website that I frequent is Ordinary Courage where the author, Brene writes about authenticity and the power of courage, creativity and understanding and how holding and sharing the gifts that you elicit can in itself be powerful.
For Valentine's Day Brene has chosen to re-name the day generosityday where everyone CAN and SHOULD share their love and she is calling to all hearts to be giving and thoughtful and caring.
What a great idea!

Here is wishing you and yours a very happy Valentine's (generosityday)

Full Hearts
Secure Love,

Jozi wants to say have a happy HEART day too!


Happy Birthday Jerome!

I am wishing you a very Happy Birthday hoping you have lots of love and hugs today!

Peace and Hugs and Wishes,


On The Cusp of a New Year and Recollections of The Past

Just a few recollections of the past year and the posts and the memories of Di......

Never Forget Her...
My Girl, Di



Em ... The Birthday Girl

Today is the birthday of Di's first born, Em....I hope your day is special and filled with love and hugs

Peace, Love and Hugs Forever,


Merry Christmas

Another year, another time of peace on earth and goodwill to all men.
May your blessings be many and your cares be few.

Di would have loved Jozi I think.....we sure love her

Those EARS oh my gosh they are so wonderful!
Airplane would be so proud to have Jozi as his friend I think...



Happy Birthday Ben

Today is a special day for Di's Benno....another birthday and another year grown!

Peace, Love and Hugs,


Di Has Been Joined By Another Angel

Always a proud Pop....
Di's father passed away and I send my thoughts and prayers to the family who will miss him so very much.
He always had a hello for me and in the years before he became ill he was always the "go to" pop.
During the last months of Di's life he was failing in health and his memory that had been so sharp for so many years was failing him.  We lost a great man who always put his family first; no matter what, when or where.
Daniel we will miss you.

November 16, 2012

Here's to you pop....God Bless and I'm sure that you will have a hard time getting a word in with Di at your side in heaven.

The last picture I have of Di and Pops on Di's last birthday 2009
Love and Hugs,

The people we meet form the foundation of our lives that when built upon allow us to bloom and blossom in ways that we never would have anticipated.