How did we know that the date of your last birthday would mark the last 744 hours of your life? The last 44640 minutes of the last month of your life? The last 2,678,400 seconds in that last month of your life?
We didn't and honestly it's probably best that WE DIDN'T KNOW THIS.
I think you knew.
I remembered we talked about 'after' and how it would consume me and my life and I'd be frozen like I was before....for so very long.
It's now been almost 10 years since I opened that box that I would put the birthday card that I would buy for you every year. I'd keep it in that 'safe' place and then take it out ever so gently, caress it and then think for a moment about what I would write. Then I would stop, think again and feel sad because I just knew that one day I would not be going to buy you a card again.
The last time that I stood in the card aisle, I did cry.
I cried because I was scared, I was scared that I would not pick the 'right' card to celebrate you and that I may not get the chance to buy another the next year for you.
I was right; I do NOT like to admit that because I like to function on learning something everyday, something new, something cool, something different. I HATE being right about many things, especially when it was that I would not be able to ever give you a birthday card again.
So sad
It has been approximately 20,820 days since your last birthday.
Today you would have been 57 years old, my dear.
I can hardly believe that it has been so very long.
Forever remembered, never forgotten, my dear sweet Di
Peace, love, light...
Cath
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