Happy Birthday Wishes For Another Year

Happy Birthday Girl...

How did we know that the date of your last birthday would mark the last 744 hours of your life?  The last 44640 minutes of the last month of your life?  The last 2,678,400 seconds in that last month of your life? 

We didn't and honestly it's probably best that WE DIDN'T KNOW THIS.  

I think you knew.

I remembered we talked about 'after' and how it would consume me and my life and I'd be frozen like I was before....for so very long. 

It's now been almost 10 years since I opened that box that I would put the birthday card that I would buy for you every year.  I'd keep it in that 'safe' place and then take it out ever so gently, caress it and then think for a moment about what I would write.  Then I would stop, think again and feel sad because I just knew that one day I would not be going to buy you a card again.  

The last time that I stood in the card aisle, I did cry.  

I cried because I was scared, I was scared that I would not pick the 'right' card to celebrate you and that I may not get the chance to buy another the next year for you.

I was right; I do NOT like to admit that because I like to function on learning something everyday, something new, something cool, something different.  I HATE being right about many things, especially when it was that I would not be able to ever give you a birthday card again.  

So sad 

It has been approximately 20,820 days since your last birthday. 

Today you would have been 57 years old, my dear. 

I can hardly believe that it has been so very long.  

Forever remembered, never forgotten, my dear sweet Di 

Peace, love, light...

Cath

The Things We Leave Behind...

The things left behind…

When she left that warm November day, I know that she did not know that it would be the last time that she looked around, smiled at the photos on the mantle, checked to make sure that she had everything that she would need for a short stay as she felt the door handle for the last time ever.

Now there are things. Things left behind. Things that meant something. Things that are a reminder of something. Things that she loved. Things that she enjoyed. Things that made her smile and laugh. Things that brought tears to her eyes. Things that she watched with tender loving care. Things that she made. Things that she envisioned. Things that are things for just the sheer pleasure of being things.

These things are just things. But, they allow us to “touch” those that we miss whenever we want to or when we need to. Things that we can touch. Those things are tactile and important and an integral part of who we were, who we are and who we are going to be.

I have learned to drink my coffee without cream; black…2 sweet ‘n low packets and that’s it. Di would be proud since she always made fun of me and my foo foo coffee creamers…

Love, Peace, Hugs Always and Forever,
Cat

The Misconceptions of the Pink "Wave" Yelling Breast Cancer Prevention

There have been many articles and opinions negating the commercialism of breast cancer prevention and this article does a fine job of explaining the facts, the misnomers and the pros/cons of early detection, treatment and support.

The article touts "the feel good war" depicting all of the PINK products that are available and the unorganized "version" of early detection/early screening. 

One quote in the article from Peggy Orenstein who described her second diagnosis in heart wrenching terms "Just like that, I passed again through the invisible membrane that separates the healthy from the ill".  I felt that exact same way when Di's cancer 'came back'....as I am sure she felt too many times to count. 

Additionally, the term "Pinkwashing" has surfaced and it is very informative, especially during this month of October where we see garbage trucks, NFL, NBA, WNBA, Nascar and other sports that tout their "Pink" saying it is all in the name of breast cancer awareness. 

How aware do we need to be at this point?
How aware are we at this point?
Does it do any good or does it harm those that are suffering?
Do funds go where they are supposed?
Why is this disease not fought and done with all the technological advances?
Should we blame the drug companies and their personification of the almighty dollar?
Di and I talked about this over the many years that she was fighting that good fight and many times she was so embroiled in anger that "there wasn't a cure yet -- because the drug companies and healthcare DON'T want to cure it, but instead keep throwing money at the cause to keep them in business. 

Take a look at this article; interesting, from 2018 but still very relevant.
I read it, I think of Di.
I read it, I get mad.
I read it, I miss Di.
I read it and I can feel the tears welling up behind my eyes full of sadness.

metavivor.org posted an article by Anni Aluise

Peace, Love and Squash the Pinksters PLEASE 

Cat