Today Is Di's Day

Today we place another tick on the calendar, another date we etch into our memory and give thanks, share love and hugs and tears with those that all hold a common bond of love for Di.

We all loved Di so much and after months the time has come to bid the final farewell to Di.

Words and song and praise bring us full circle at the place that Jerome and the kids picked specially for such a special woman, wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend.

I knew the day would be hard but I didn't imagine that I could stand next to the area that was chosen for Di and look up the hill and see Lullaby Land; so close to where I stood 35 years ago as a child and bid farewell to my only sister. 

Time and fate and chance and destiny and coincidence all play a role in our lives and I think they all intersected today in this one place at this one time while we were performing this one important and poignant act. 

The formality of Di's funeral was epic and the interment was informal and blessed with words and holy water, heartfelt thoughts, prayers and song by Jerome and Em. 

I read a short set of words that I put together this morning and even with my sometimes overpowering and loud voice, I found my voice cracking and low while the tears welled in my eyes.  It was hard but I needed to say these things.  I did not speak at her funeral; I think I was still too raw and very intimidated by the enormous amount of people in attendance and I just didn't know what I would say; how I would say something...anything...without fumbling over my words.

The words that I spoke at the interment were:

As I drank my first cup of coffee today, I thought of Di, just like I do every day. She is in my thoughts, in my actions and in my heart always. Di found a place in each and every one of our hearts and she will remain there as long as we never forget to laugh and enjoy the memories of the past while we move forward and live our lives just as she would have wanted us all to do. All the love that Di created is still here with us all and it is comforting for me to know that she made such an indelible impact on so many people in the short time that she shared her love and her life with all of us.

Today is Di’s day.

We take time out of our busy schedules, our confusing lives and all of the demands that we have to acknowledge that for all of those years after Di’s diagnosis she made time everyday and in every way for each and every one of us.

Of course Di probably would have said something like this is not the party that she had planned but I’m sure that she’s been dancing her toes off in heaven and there has been many times that God has told her that she has to let Him talk sometimes too. Today marks the day that there is finally another place in our world for Di; a place for us to all remember, recollect and share our thoughts our dreams and our memories privately and personally.

A quote from one of Di’s favorite places, StoryPeople that I found that exemplifies my feelings is:

I carry you with me into the world,

into the smell of rain

and the words that dance between people

and for me, it will always be this way,

walking in the light,

remembering being alive together.

The importance of people in our lives over the years and the impact that they have caused the day that they crashed into our lives and changed them forever is something that we should never forget.

I will never forget Di.

I believe that I can finally let my heart whisper....Godspeed Di.

But I still miss her and still grieve the loss and I still cry everyday.