10.02.2010

Mortality and all it's confusion

MORTALITY

"We should think more about it, and accustom ourselves to the thought of death. We can't allow the fear of death to creep up on us unexpectedly. We have to make the fear familiar, and one way is to write about it. I don't think writing and thinking about death is characteristic only of old men. I think that if people began thinking about death sooner, they'd make fewer foolish mistakes."

--Shostakovich

I don’t ever want time to pass by without recounting its importance.
Time ticks on the clock as hours, minutes and seconds race by us everyday.

Everything we say and do is an important milestone in our trek across the great divide of life.

People form the basis of our lives, our relationships, our contacts, and our foundation of whether it's important to get out of bed each morning and function or just lie there and stare at the ceiling hoping time will replay itself and everything will go away. Those people in our lives sometimes are the catalysts that compel us to move forward, move on, move away or just plain move.

It’s like building a house, you need your foundation to be strong to support your building for many years and a relationship is so similar to this type of infrastructure.

When speaking of mortality as humans we tend to get mushy and nostalgic and our emotions run high and sometimes overtake our actions. In the fairy tales that were read to us as children, nothing bad really ever happens, the prince gets the girl, the shoe fits and all evil doers are banished from kingdoms. Not such the case in real life. In real life, people hardly ever get what they want unless they win the lottery and then they blow all their money and end up homeless and penniless, our shoes are always tight, and the evil doers and crooks and thieves always tend to get off with just the slap of the hand.

I’m the glass is always half-empty girl, the pessimist, the one that is trying to look around the corner to see what bad things are coming my way. I find it hard to find the “good” in things sometimes…

Di always looked at the positive side; she found the “spin” to make those bad things at least manageable and she did it while smiling. She did it for those around her, those that she loved because it was the way that she operated.

What is the difference and distinction between fictitious and factual and good and malevolent and moral and immoral? Is it the realization that we have lived to the fullest extent of our human life in preparation for the next level. What is the next level or next great feat that we must prepare for in terms of human understanding? Or is it the justification that our time has come, our body is tired and worn and decrepit? What is the justification, the pay off, that one final, last dance?

For everything and everyone there is a season (I think this was a song from the 70’s proclaiming this prophecy and also proclaiming that for everything and everyone there is a reason - Di would know the name of it I'm sure). Why do we force the reasoning of others and ourselves into the thoughts of ourselves and others? Would we live much more peaceful if there were never forced thoughts or forced consequences for our actions? Or would we falter and unwillingly turn the other cheek and just move on and miss out on a part of our memories?

I remember taking philosophy so many years ago and talking with Di about the reasoning and whys and why not’s of why we all philosophically “do” something. Her answer was always close to what I knew it would be; the same answer I always came up with too….”everything happens for a reason, Cath”.
I have lived my life for as long as I can remember like a locked person in a glass house peering out, watching, waiting and wondering when my break out would happen. I was sheltered and kept a prisoner in my own home after Nancy died. I would tour the dark halls at night alone peering into the shrine of my beloved sister that held pristine sheets you could bounce a quarter off, windows decorated with cotton- candy- colored frilly curtains freshly pressed and cleaned weekly. Her bed was lined from top to bottom with her stuffed animals, her dolls and her jewelry box with the little ballerina ready at a whim to dance all sat perched above the bed on a shelf. In her closet, the bar had been lowered to her height and it was lined with dresses and shoes with black buckles and purses hanging in wait for the next great adventure. It smelled so fresh in the closet; her clothes were washed more than once a week and still smelled like fabric softener. The Candy Land game sat alone on top of her bureau and all of her brightly colored beads were hanging from the bedpost finials of her tiny white washed twin bed posts. Her sunbonnet was perched on her pillow just waiting for her to snatch it up and plop it on her head. No one had lived in that room for months but it was the same as it was the day that she left for good to visit the hospital and it remained that way for years.

I found a wonderful quote from Morrie Schwartz, in the book that Mitch Albom wrote about his experience with Morrie in his Tuesday’s with Morrie book that really sums it all up; life, death, mortality…

It's natural to die. The fact that we make such a big hullabaloo over it all is because we don't see ourselves as part of nature. We think because we're human we're something above nature. We're not. Everything that gets born, dies. Do you accept that?

All right. Now here's the payoff. Here is how we are different from those wonderful plants and animals. As long as we can love each other, and remember the feeling of love we had, we can die without ever really going away. All the love you created is still there. All the memories are still there. You live on--in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured while you were here.


Death ends a life, not a relationship.

Well said......
Peace.
Love.
Good thoughts your way - everyday for an eternity and longer.

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The people we meet form the foundation of our lives that when built upon allow us to bloom and blossom in ways that we never would have anticipated.