During the last days that I visited Di in the hospital of the few times that we had to spend and hold hands and chat we talked about regrets. Of course she was more worried about me than herself, as usual. She told me that I needed to break down the walls and build up the relationship with my dad again no matter what it took and that one day if my mom came waltzing back into my life, I needed to honor her presence and forgive her for all the things that she'd done over the years. That's a bitter pill for me to swallow twice, I have to admit.
But, Di told me that relationships are all that we have in this great big world and the stronger we are about keeping them, the stronger we are as human beings. Kindness, forgiveness and love are what makes the world go 'round.
She did tell me that she did have regrets too.
There were few...
Not being able to see Chloe graduate...
Not being able to take her daughters to see Paris...
And the one that made me laugh and dry up my tears for a few
short minutes while my hand shook as I was holding
her hand in mine
Not being able to go to an Ellen Show taping...
So, Em and Chole make sure one day that you visit Paris and remember that your Mom really wished that she could take you both there...with her.
Experiences, regrets, memories, misgivings, thankfulness, missteps.
These all combine to make us what we are and who we are and how we portray ourselves to those we love and those we don't know we love yet.
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